John 12:1-8

Someone came up to me last Sunday and said, "What you did for Advent, with all the drapes of fabric—I think we should do that again for Easter! I loved it! I'll do whatever you need to help—I don't have a lick of creativity in me [her words—I would disagree, but that's for another post], but I can hang things, whatever. Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it." So, since then I've been pondering (obsessing, really—where's the line between creative contemplation and obsession?) what we might do to adorn the sanctuary for Easter. Another artist in the community made a beautiful banner last year that we'll hang again in the chancel area, so we'll want to complement that: it's white doves with gold and yellow accents. My initial approach was to use muslin because it's inexpensive, and dress it up with gold cording, stitching, etc. I even spent an hour or so working with my serger, trying out different things to see what's possible. And I came up with a couple of different approaches that could make simple muslin look festive and more elegant.

And artistically speaking, I like the idea of using plain muslin, something like the material of Jesus's burial shroud, and resurrecting it to be glorious. But still, it's muslin and will look like muslin, albeit with gold cording, etc. And mostly I'd use it because it's cheap.

My soul is saying, "I want to drape the sanctuary in beauty, swathe it in truly glorious fabrics! I want to celebrate the resurrection of Christ like I would celebrate the return to life of my husband if he had died. I want it to be rich and elegant and sumptuous. Overabundant. More than we can afford." I even found a fabric on-line that would fit beautifully what I envision:


But then we come back to cost. This fabric is $27.95/yard. We'd need at least 20 yards of it. How to pay for it? How to justify the money in these times of financial hardship for the church, and for us personally? I'm startled by the vigor of my yearning to go all out for this holiday—Easter has never been a big deal for me, and I tend much more to low-church simplicity and nontraditional decorations. So to feel so strongly drawn to swathe the sanctuary in white and gold silks is really antithetical to me. I'm not sure how to understand it. But I really really really don't want to go cheap this year. I'd rather do nothing than do something cheap because we can't afford what I really want. But I'm morally opposed to spending gobs of money on material things. How to reconcile these truths in me? I don't know. Commit to spending the money on the material, and then instead give the money to a mission project? Spend the money on the material and honor my call to abundant celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and trust that somehow it's the right thing to do?

I keep going back to the story in John 12 of Mary pouring perfume on Jesus' feet. Shall I be Mary in that story, or Judas? I'd love to find a way to be both! That's always been a tough story for me because I was raised to think like Judas, but I have the soul of Mary. I guess this is what Lent is about for me this year—my perpetual struggle between Judasness and Maryness. Practicality vs. Beauty. If I were independently wealthy, I wouldn't have to choose...