8/22/11

"I don't know, but I can sing you a few bars..."

Lifelong Question #1:  What is my calling?  What have I been called by God to do?

Lifelong Question #2 (which must be answered before Question #1):  Who is God?  What do I believe about all that?  What is my theological Statement of Faith?

Beating my head against this wall again since hearing a young seminarian speak yesterday at church about her calling.  And then I figured it out.  At least for now.

Answer #1:  

 

Answer #2:  I still can't say, but I realized yesterday that I can sing it.  Looking back through my kaleidoscopic life (see "The Question-Driven Life" by David Brooks for a good description of my way of being in the world), I see one constant:  music.  I've played piano and other instruments since I can remember, and I've almost continuously since the age of 7 been part of a choir or vocal ensemble of one sort or another.  Music is the one thing I apparently can't live without.  And my favorite and most frequent singing and playing is done in church.  Once at seminary (where I beat my head against the "What is my calling?" question for 2-1/2 years to no avail) during Advent, I was the cantor for a chapel service—at the end of the service I sang an a capella "Gloria in excelsis deo" benediction, and in the silence following I felt a rush of energy roll over the gathered community from the back of the chapel and crash over me like a Lake Ontario wave.  Afterwards, more than one person asked me if I'd felt it, because they had, too.

And numbers of people in churches over the years have told me that I sing "like an angel."  I've heard it enough times now to accept that they're telling me something.

So, though I can't define my theology or my calling in this life, I can give you a list of songs I've sung that feel like prayers and that cumulatively add up to my Statement of Faith:

 

And those are just the songs I've actually sung.  I could add a hundred more that I hope to sing someday...

3 comments:

Peter said...

How can we keep from singing...

Peter said...

How about, Bright Morning Star?

RJ said...

This is BETTER than most statements of faith I've seen - or written!