Real feelings

For a person with chronic depression, it's hard to tell what's depression and what's a real feeling. I feel sad and angry and discouraged. And scared, I have to say it.  I don't admit to scared normally. 

Sad could be depression. Discouraged, maybe depression. Angry, though, is not a depressed feeling. Neither is scared. You have to feel like you're part of the world to be angry at it or scared of it. 

So I can be half sure these are actual feelings that I don't have to dismiss because they're "just the depression talking."  These ones I can embrace as really me. I really do feel sad and angry and discouraged and scared. Since I know two of them are real, I'm claiming them all.  

I'm so practiced at dismissing my unhappy feelings that I'm not clear on how to feel them. One more thing to undertake in a time of undertakings.

Which I think gives me another feeling called Crap.